363 Days to Go

Until next Halloween.
That is not much time.
We had better start planning.
We had a great Halloween.
This year, Little man was in charge of his costume idea.
His mission was to think and execute something with very little help from the adults.
He did fantastic.
Little man even won first in the school's Costume contest.

His inspiration was the puppet character Billy from the Saw movies.
The only thing I did to assist was sort out the make-up and make that bow tie.

I was a Day of the Dead person. I would love to know how those people get their hair so big!


Hubs was terrifying.

His theme was retired welder.

Can you imagine if you were a little one and this image greeted you at the door?


Hubs was wearing his big heavy work boots.
As soon as he heard the little feet moving towards the door, he would stamp his feet, scootch down so he would be at eye level with the little trick or treaters and the quickly wretch open the door.
Of course the little trick or treaters would be taken aback and physically move back a little, then Hubs would lift up his welders mask and there would be probably the most scariest face these little ones would see all night.
A few little ghouls would have a hard time opening their bags so I could put in candy.
One little witch just started running back to her mom. I followed, saying: Wait, wait. We have candy!!!
One lovely child was the Queen of the Hearts who calmly asked the scary welder, Please stay inside the house.
No problem
Here is more candy.


We noticed this year there were more little ones. I love that. It means a new generation to enjoy in the festivities.
I have no problems with older kids, teenagers, trick or treating. As long as they are wearing a costume.
I feel this is a holiday for the young and the young at heart.

From my family to yours,
Happy Halloween!

Autumn is Here

We are now experiencing a lot more dampness and chilly nights. That is a sure sign that Autumn has arrived.
Jackie is thrilled.


We decided to go for a little drive and see if we can photograph some interesting things to paint later.


There are an abundance of colours in our neck of the woods. The camera does not do it justice.


After a nice long ride in the truck, it was time to make supper.
This is my favourite go to meal
A blade roast.
So simple.
Just chop up some veggies, carrots, potatoes, celery, onion and whatever else your heart desires.
Add in some cloves of garlic.
Rub some olive oil on that roast and sprinkle on some herbs. I usually use sage, basil, oregano and a bit of salt and pepper.
Then the best part! Add some wine to the pan and to the chef!
I also add water.
I like to leave it in the oven on low, about 250F for a long time. I pop it in around noonish and it is usually ready by 17h00.

While that is in the oven, I like to go out to my shop and paint for a bit with the rest of the wine that did not make it into the roast.
This is what I am currently working on:

I'm happy with my progress on the apples. I will have to wait and see if the other paintings give rise to a voice.

I work tonight, so I am off to veg and trick my brain that it is sleepy time.
I hope you are all well!

It Draws Closer.....

Halloween is just around the corner.
In our little chateau, we are in the planning stages.
So much excitement to be had at this time of year.
The beautiful colour changes as Autumn is ushered in and Summer takes its leave.

With Autumn, starts a brand new school year.
Jackie is having a difficult time adjusting.
I spent the better part of the morning explaining why Little Man boards the yellow brick on wheels.

She was having no part of this conversation.

With the cooler temperatures, I have finally finished some projects.
Here is my Bad Fairy Princess Stole!

This was a work of love.
There were times when I thought I bit off more than I can chew. I persevered.
The trick is to knit like you watch anime. Do not try to guess the next step. Just follow the instructions and go with it.
To be honest, I am not one to wear lacy items of clothing or accessories. With this stole, I am just so proud of myself, I will wear it with pride.

I finally sewed the buttons Hubs made onto my sweater!!!

I absolutely adore this sweater. I will be wearing it to work tonight!

Now I have one work in progress on my needles:
Why So Serious?


Lunch is underway.
I am making some soup to go with a loaf of cheesy bread I purchased over the week end.

Enjoy the start of the Autumnal Equinox!

Almost There

Little steps.
One foot in the front of the other.
You got this!

I'm back at work. It was a long week, but I feel like I performed as a decent human being.
This week I also went for my next blood test to make sure the body is functioning as it should.
The nurse who telephoned with the results was so kind. She reminds me of someone who should have been on Sesame Street.
She has empathy and is able to speak without being condescending or using that pitying tone that I heard a lot of these past few weeks.
My body apparently is almost on the way back to normal.
Normal.
What a bizarre word to describe something that certainly does not feel normal.

I have been watching a great anime series titled Death Note. I love animes that a strong theme of the supernatural coupled with intense character studies. It makes me wonder how I would respond in a similar situation. You know, like if I ever find a magical book that gives me the power to decide life and death.

As I binge watch my programs, I enjoy knitting.
My current projects are still my Fairy Princess Stole, which is turning out better than expected!


I cannot work on my stole while Death Note. I have to read the subtitles.
This is my other work in progress, Why So Serious Socks by Jennifer Vancalcar.



This is such a fun sock. The pattern is simple but interesting enough to keep me knitting away like a happy little fiend.

Have any of you tried Windows 10?
I'm starting to really warm up to the operating system. Especially they introduced me to iMovies app.
Now I can watch all those movies that Hubs has absolutely no interest in viewing.

Little Better

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was think about a large cup of coffee.
It's nice to not wake up crying for a change.
My goals right now are simple.
Wake up.
Coffee.
Farmville.
Elliptical.
Shower.
Dress.
Jackie.
Eat.

Jackie actually figures in more predominately in that list.
If you want to know where I am, follow the dog.
She is my right hand man at the moment.
If there was room, she would jump into that shower with me.

I have also been binge watching Project Runway and working on my Fairy Princess Stole.

I like this project because my mind needs to keep up with the counting.
I love it is progressing.
I'm not sure how long it will be when finished.
I will either run out of yarn or simply decide that is enough.

I've been avoiding facebook with the exception of Farmville.
Harvesting simulated vegetables calms me.
The rest of my feed is about hand knitted baby items.
I'm not ready for that.

I'm grateful for the time off work.
I do not remember when I focused on just me.
I should do this more often.

See you later.

Shattered

I went for my blood test yesterday.
I had that empty feeling all night before.
That gut instinct. That is one helluva thing.
My results showed that it was as if I was two weeks pregnant, not nine.
Well, I take comfort in the fact that at least it is possible for me to conceive.
I never even thought that was a possibility.
It still fuckin hurts.
People are kindly trying to offer condolences.
I find myself more in the position of saying things, like it will be better next time.
Maybe the baby just wasn't developing properly and it is for the best.
To be honest, I just want to be left alone.
This is my grief. I do not want to share it.
My mother in law even offered to come over because she made a casserole and whatnot.
Nope.
I just cannot be polite and act like the ever respectful hostess at the moment.
I cannot offer polite conversation and say things like, it is ok. Next time I will stronger.
She is a nice woman but at times I find her too self-centered. I cannot deal with that personality right now.
I want to be the selfish one.
Just leave me alone for now please.
Let me have my few days of self pity.
Let me get my head together.
I will be better tomorrow.

Conflicted

I feel just so lost and emotional.
Last week I had experienced bleeding from moderate to at one point heavy.
This scared me.
Everything you read on the internet says this is a bad thing. It usually ends in miscarriage.
Then you read a few other articles that explain this is not necessarily so.
All of the articles ended with please call your health care provider.
I did that today.

The receptionist was so kind and understanding. She told me that it is usually not a good thing, but entirely uncommon.
I felt ok after this exchange. She made me an appointment to see the doctor who was on call as mine was not on today.
I arrived with Hubs on time. We registered and were told to wait.
We watched a few other patients come and go and then my name was called.
First question this doctor asked me, Do you speak French.
I started to answer I am English however,
I never finished my sentence.
I knew this was not going well.
Why are you are here?
I tried my best to explain.
I doubt she was even listening.
So since then you were bleeding.
Well, you miscarried.
I don't see why you bothered to come in.
Well, I just want to be sure everything is ok.
You miscarried. We can be sure two things. We can do a blood test.
I don't see why you did not come in earlier.
Most women come in at the first sight of blood.
I will give you two forms.
One copy will go to your assigned doctor.
They are closed today, so you can go tomorrow at your clinic in town.
Well, I guess we should call you regardless of the results.

I tell you, I have never in my life been so distraught, angry, emotionally drained, every other feeling on the spectrum ever!
She was the most cold-hearted excuse for a human I have encountered since arriving in the Belle Province.
I had a miscarriage earlier this year. It was horrible. I was shattered. I felt empty.
This time, I don't have those feelings. My stomach is holding a baby bump. I feel these little twinges in my stomach. I still have hope that things are as they should be.
That woman never even asked me a question about how I was feeling. She made her assumption without hardly any information. That was the most horrendous experience I would never wish on anyone.
I don't even know what to feel at this point.
Tomorrow morning, Hubs and I will go to the walk in clinic in town and do the blood test.
I still have hope.