Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm in a Better Frame of Mind

I am in a much better frame of mind. It all started with a little dinner at Denny's. There we were, sipping on our drinks and waiting for our hash browns when we heard this weird heavy breathing sound. Now, my mother always told me never to stare or point. So we continued to drink our drinks quietly and think the best route to take to peak around to see where the noise was coming from. We needn't of worried about making a spectacle of ourselves. I gave up on subtlety and quickly glanced over my shoulder. There to my surprise is an older a restaurant! Move over People of Walmart for the People of Denny's. The older gentleman had fallen asleep reading the newspaper. His lovely wife had fallen asleep using her bewbs as a pillow. I dare you try that. I can rarely fall asleep if I'm not in my own bed, with my pillow, on my side; never mind the sleeping in public bit. I still am unsure how she managed that position. She did look really comfortable. I finally figured out the snoring noise was coming from her. She was suffocating herself in her chest. I felt sorry for the server. How do place the bill on the table? You might startle them. Then you have a whole new set of problems on hand.
Since we went out for supper, we didn't have left overs for my lunch. So, I thought I was being clever and bought a salad from the grocery section of the Walmart. It looked really nice. All the colours, crisp greens, bright red tomatoes. I was all excited about my lunch. So the next day, around lunch time, OK more like 10h30. I'm on the phone with a board member and I thought I would prep my salad. Tricky little lid. It said pop tab to open. OK. I can do that. OMG! It sounded like a shot. You could tell the neighbourhood I grew up in wasn't the friendliest. I sort of ducked down a bit. The smell thought. For the love of Pete. It was deadly. I thought the guys in the shop were doing some weird motor experiments again. Or maybe someone sadly ended the life of a skunk and the odour was clinging to their car. Finally, my blondness subsided and I realized it was my salad. I was quite embarrassed. I quickly dumped the remains in the trash can. Wasn't very effective. That odour was persistent. I doubled bagged it. Still not good enough. Finally, i found my little can glade odour hiding stuff. I emptied that little canister. Now we have a stinky office with a faint scent of mountain mist. Nope. Still pretty gross. Triple bagging that sucker now. OMG. It was too powerful. I had to travel outside with that bomb and toss it into the dumpster. I just hope animal control or environment Canada doesn't call. I don't really want to be responsible for some nuclear disaster.
Well now that I have provided you all some details about my dining experiences, I am going to retire to the living room for the new episode of Fringe.
Good night everyone. :D