Friday, May 7, 2021
Yesterday afternoon I received my first dose of the COVID vaccine. To be honest, I can't tell whether the effects I am experiencing are side effects, pyschosomatic, or side effects from when I'm about to get my period. I've had a headache all day. Felt tired. I've been sneezing a fair bit. That may just be allergies. Either way, I'm all right. I have my mid term tomorrow. This is a nerve wracking experience for me. My mom reminded me that when I was little, every time you put the words test, quiz, exam, in front of me, my mind would just shut off. I would know and understand the subject, backwards and forwards. Toss in thise scary little words, my mind would just blank. I am trying really hard to just downplay it, It will be fine, Even if things go horribly awry, what is the worse that can happen? Maybe I have to repeat the course. Maybe I get kicked out of the program. At the end of the day, I will kniw that I did my best and I have lits of other skills and hobbies I enjoy. Those are worse case scenarios. I have no intention of failing. But, if it happens, I keep going. Between studying, I try to venture outside. The girls remind me how important it is to step away once in a while. I'm glad they did or we would not have met our newest resident!
Saturday, May 1, 2021
I am so pleased with myself. Normally, I am my own worse enemy. Second guessing most of my choices. It's ridiculous really. Even the tarot cards I enjoy, lean towards the belief that I should follow my gut instinct mire often. It's true. I should. Very rarly, do I ever regret a decision made with my natural instincts. I have completed my first month in my business program. It has been challenging. I expected that. It has afterall, been sometime since I was in a scolarly position. My only regret is not doing this sooner. Then again, I would have been a much different person earlier. It would have been a different experience. At least now, I can fully appreciate my efforts. You know what prompted this return to school? A video game. I was playing The Sims. I have always enjoyed this game. Something about choosing a path for a fictional character, watching them trudge along, sometimes encountering obstacles, sometimes going rogue, either way, it's loads of fun. Anyway, I was playing this game and thinking why don't I level myself up? With the pandemic going on, evrything is remote. It would be so much more accessible than having to go to a camous in person. So, I jumped in. I am truly enjoying myself. I go through these bouts of insecurity, then I dust myself off and keep going. I'm not able to really give a lot if time to my hobbies but, I do the best I can. I have been enjoying the garden with Jackie and Charlotte. Lots of plants have returned!
Friday, April 9, 2021
I have gone back to school! Turns out it wasn't just happy nostalgia. I really do love the smell of new school supplies. Maybe that's why I enjoy creating art? I am pursuing a BA on business. It will be a two year adventure that will hopefully find me in a another realm of employment. At the moment I feel a bit overwhelmed and rusty. It's difficult to believe this is the same brain that helped me graduate over 20 years ago. Now I have to train it to remember other things besides 80s song lyrics. The gardens has seen so much new growth these past few weeks. Some things I am unable to identify. Other things I recognize and am so happy to see them return! They're my little friends. Porter Bundt Cake
Tuesday, March 16, 2021
I always try to start my day with little steps. I find it help. First item on the agenda. Getout of bed. Take the dogs out. Feed everyone, including myself. If these items on the list are checked off, it's a good day. I try to do something that brings me a bit of joy. Maybe I'll replenish the birdfeeders. I enjoy seeing my little feathered friends. Then if I'm able, I try to take to snap a few pictures. I might use the actual camera or my iPad. Whichever is on hand. I like to try and a draw a little. It helps my hands loosen up so I can do a bit more. I love to knit while I watch a show or two, or three. Perhaps more. At the moment I really enjoy Coroner. I watch it on CBC Gem. It can be quite addictive. To alleviate my guilt of just sitting, I tend to knit. My fuzzy companions usually are quite efficient at reminding me to eat and walk around a bit. Lately I've been trying to learn nee things, regardless of whether I'll be god at it or understand what on Earth I'm doing. I read an article in Food & Wine online, that said something along the lines, that if you want to be a more confident baker, here are 12 cakes you must try. Did we talk about this before? Anyway, I started in the month of February because it was, well, February. It was the Molten Chocolate Cake. I surprised myself! It turned out amazing! Hubs loved it so much, I baked a couple more a few weeks after.
Saturday, March 6, 2021
Talking is so important. It brings to light what is habitually hidden in the shadows. Hidden in self doubt and in shame. If we talk, we help one another. There are all these websites, podcasts, memes, advertisements that promote the slogan: Let's Talk. The slogans need to continue further, with more information. Let's Talk Openly We cannot keep hiding behind perfection. We are chasing, competing with something that does not exist. Do away with the filters with the camoflage. Maybe we should try honesty?
Saturday, February 20, 2021
Well here we are, near the end of February. There just seems to be so much going on. Then you start to take stock and realize, no. Not really. Maybe we are all just becoming hyper aware of our surroundings. How can we not? We must continue to be vigilent, careful, and sympathetic. Not everyone is managing very well. Some struggle and it manifests as anger or it can be seen as depression, or maybe even hyperness. For me, my world has pretty well remained as it was before, just perhaps more cleaning. I was never really one to go out and socialize. I have always enjoyed my own company. Although I must admit, it is easier to be social distancing with my fuzzy children. They are never far from me. I'm lucky and garteful. The first face I see is always Jackie with her bright eyes and impatience for me to get my butt in gear.