Monday, September 7, 2015


I feel just so lost and emotional.
Last week I had experienced bleeding from moderate to at one point heavy.
This scared me.
Everything you read on the internet says this is a bad thing. It usually ends in miscarriage.
Then you read a few other articles that explain this is not necessarily so.
All of the articles ended with please call your health care provider.
I did that today.

The receptionist was so kind and understanding. She told me that it is usually not a good thing, but entirely uncommon.
I felt ok after this exchange. She made me an appointment to see the doctor who was on call as mine was not on today.
I arrived with Hubs on time. We registered and were told to wait.
We watched a few other patients come and go and then my name was called.
First question this doctor asked me, Do you speak French.
I started to answer I am English however,
I never finished my sentence.
I knew this was not going well.
Why are you are here?
I tried my best to explain.
I doubt she was even listening.
So since then you were bleeding.
Well, you miscarried.
I don't see why you bothered to come in.
Well, I just want to be sure everything is ok.
You miscarried. We can be sure two things. We can do a blood test.
I don't see why you did not come in earlier.
Most women come in at the first sight of blood.
I will give you two forms.
One copy will go to your assigned doctor.
They are closed today, so you can go tomorrow at your clinic in town.
Well, I guess we should call you regardless of the results.

I tell you, I have never in my life been so distraught, angry, emotionally drained, every other feeling on the spectrum ever!
She was the most cold-hearted excuse for a human I have encountered since arriving in the Belle Province.
I had a miscarriage earlier this year. It was horrible. I was shattered. I felt empty.
This time, I don't have those feelings. My stomach is holding a baby bump. I feel these little twinges in my stomach. I still have hope that things are as they should be.
That woman never even asked me a question about how I was feeling. She made her assumption without hardly any information. That was the most horrendous experience I would never wish on anyone.
I don't even know what to feel at this point.
Tomorrow morning, Hubs and I will go to the walk in clinic in town and do the blood test.
I still have hope.

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