I am good. I woke this morning and that realization. I am very thrilled. It has not taken me that long to get this point either. I have been on my own since the February. It is really not a very long time. I still have my down days where I will see a picture and then maybe get a little weepy, but overall, those days are very few and far between. I always knew I could live on my own. I had prior to the marriage thing. The difference now is that I eat better and take better care of myself. I actually make time to prepare meals. I make enough dinner so I have leftovers for lunch the next day. I also make sure all my food groups are covered. My body lets me know when I'm missing something. It has taken me a long to time to learn how to listen to my body.
I also budget better. I always had this capability, I just never did. I could leave that for someone else to take care of. Something about the need for a roof over my head is great motivation. I have made serious attempts at sticking to my budget as well. I reserve so much for fun, for food, for bills and so on. I have even managed to start up a savings account. I can take care of the little problems that arise, like needing to replace spark plugs. Maybe I'm starting to grow up?
I'm not into the dating scene though. I just want to go out and have fun with someone. I don't want to have to worry about any other commitments. I was chatting with one of my online friends last night. He made a good point. He suggested I just needed to evolve from a friendship relationship. There is no stress in those. I like this. Just need to form one of those friendship type of deals. I have been chatting with someone online though. I like this relationship. He lives in the States. We have our own living space. I am still on my own, but have that connection to someone. If it progresses beyond that, then great. If it doesn't, then that is awesome too. I'm really into the no pressure thing right now.
Other people notice I'm doing better as well. I've lost weight. I smile more. I laugh more easily and honestly now. It's not one of those forced chuckles. I no longer dread the week end. At the start of singledom, I liked work for the escape. The week ends left me to my own thoughts. I craved distractions. I noticed a few week ends ago, that this was not the case. I made a list of things I wanted to do or complete. I started doing this when I first moved in as a coping mechanism. A few week ends ago, I never even looked at it. I hung out, by myself. I played video games, watched movies, started painting again, knit a pair of socks and read. I feel like I'm evolving.
It can only get better from this point on. I can feel things in the works. Not sure what exactly, but I have pretty good vibe coming from the future. I've not had this feeling in a long time. I like it.
While I was looking for that song, I came across this one:
The lead singer, Peter Steele died last week. I loved this band when it first came into the mainstream. They always put on a great show. If anyone can tell me please the real name of the character in the video, that would be awesome.
Enjoy your week end everyone.