So Much to Say......

.......and not sure how to say it. I've found an apartment. I really like it. It is in the town about 20 minutes from I live at the moment. It's clean, quiet, well taken care of, and they allow pets! I guess the other positive in this is I can afford it. It has been quite an emotional week. I'm not sure how to talk with him. I keep asking if he is ok. Can I do that? Would it be alright if I did this? We are working on a new way to talk each. Let us just suffice it to say, it is a work in progress.
All sorts of things keep circling in my mind. I'm going to have to figure out the oven. It may have other uses besides holding pans and pots. I need larger boxes for my shoes. The ones I have now simply will not do. I knew I had a lot of shoes, but now that I'm going through everything, the number is a bit a overwhelming. I've done a lot of packing. My life is all scattered around the apartment in various boxes. Who knew you could pack up seven years of stuff and memories.
There will be a period of adjustment for both of us. I find I am still saying things like, "we did that...". I've been a part of a couple for so long, I'm not sure how to work the "I" into conversations yet.
During this entire traumatic and bizarre experience, I've noticed that I have a lot of really great friends. I knew they were great before, but this is just so comforting. They don't judge. They just listen and over me reassurances that everything is going to be ok. I am a strong person. I can do anything!
I'm in a much better mental state compared to last week end. I'm very proud of myself. There is a long way to go, but I'm confident that everything will work out in the end. Looks like I am at the start of another adventure.
I hope you all have awesome plans for the week end, even if these plans include laundry and unwinding. I'm going to watch Life On Mars (UK version) and figure out how to pack some more bizarre items I have accumulated over the years. It's a good thing I have such a large stash. Yarn makes for wonderful packing supplies.
Night everyone!

Entering Phase Three

So what do you do when it feels like your entire world has fallen apart. Well, I suppose you cry a bit, actually, a lot. You enter into a shock phase. You wonder what you did wrong. All these possibilities circle in your crowded mind. Maybe, should have, could have; end result didn't. It could have been worse.
I will no longer be some one's wife. It was a hard decision to reach for either side. It could have been worse.
So now we start to plan. We didn't think we would get to this phase. Nevertheless, here we are. I'm in the process of looking for an apartment. He is helping me. I'm very grateful for that. I suppose I couldn't ask for a better divorce. I don't want to be one of those bitter exes. I have no desire to age before my time.
I've actually been writing this over a lengthy period. I'm finding that with each day, I feel a little better. Not much better, but an improvement can be seen. I'm not crying all day, just at certain parts. I'm starting to feel a little strong. I still have knots in my stomach. I'm eating. Not much, but I'm trying. I just don't feel hungry. With my body though, I've always just eaten when I'm hungry. I'm being very watchful though to make sure that I do eat properly. I'm drinking my water. It's a start.
I called my mom. She was surprisingly very helpful. I wasn't sure what she would say exactly. But we chatted for a bit. It did help.
I still feel ashamed. I feel embarrassed that I couldn't do this whole marriage thing. It feels wrong. Very surreal. We will manage. We will continue on. We did have a lot of fun. We did a lot of wonderful things together. We helped each other out. I learned a lot from him and he also from me.
I do have a lot going for me. I do have friends. I have a job. I'm very capable of many things. I am going to be OK! We both will.
Thanks for listening. I hope you all have a good night.

It Was Awesome!

I had a great Christmas with my family. The drive to my parent's house was not the like the third coming of Christmas's past. The traffic was surprisingly light. My parents live just on the other side of Peterborough. To get there, we just follow the lights that can be seen from outer space:


My parents for the most part, are doing very well. Just a little snag. The conversation sort of went like this:
Me- So, what's new?
Stepfather- Not much really. Neighbour has hemorrhoid, the pears we bought at the grocery were bad on the inside, step dad has a pace maker, they built a new Costco on highway 115....
Me- Wait, wait, wait....
Mom- hm?
Me- Back up a scooch,
Mom- I can't believe they would sell bad pears. That is so wrong. There are a lot of people who only have a certain amount of money to spend. They can't waste it on bad pears.....
Me- No. Not that far back.
Stepfather- I haven't been in the new Costco yet. I wonder if it is laid out the same.
Me- Probably. Not what I'm trying to understand though. What about the pace Maker?
Mom- Oh. Didn't we tell you on the phone?
Me- Nope. You mentioned that Len wants to go to Curves but they won't let him because he is a man.
Stepfather- But I think their workout would be better suited for me.
Me- It's a woman's only gym. Women don't want to be gawked at when they are working out. The pace maker?
Stepfather- My heart doesn't beat in rhythm. They are trying to fix it.
Me- Why do you know about the neighbour's hemorrhoids?

We watched a lot of movies on our little vacation. It's kind of weird. When I'm at my parents house, I forget they don't have the same channels as we do. We have the video on demand thing, which I absolutely love. You can pause and watch whenever you want to. You don't have to wait for a certain time. I always forget there is something I'm waiting to watch until it's too late. Then the program is done and I'm behind a few episodes. Anyway, we watched the second Harry Pottery film, The Secret Chamber I believe. I seem to only watch Harry Potter when I'm at my parent's house. We also watched Defiance. For any of you Psych or Sociology majors out there, this film shows great examples of Mob Mentality. We also saw Pineapple Express.

I also did a fair amount of knitting now that my shoulder has finally gotten better.
These are my Skeleton Stockings:

Look! The feet are complete.

I also worked on my wavy scarf:

Can you tell I like that close up feature on the camera?

I started a new project for one of my husband's kickboxing instructors:

Zoe Mellor's Moss Stitch Baby Cardigan. It is not much to look at now, but I have a feeling it will look pretty cool when I'm finished.

I also picked up some yarn to make a toque for Brian. It will have a Transformer theme. You remember that cartoon? The one where the cars are actually robots. They've made a few movies about it as well.

I'm not sure how the design will progress. When I have an image, I will be sure to share it with you all.

Oh! Something really cool to share!
Check the size of this monitor:


Maybe it is easier to see without Napoleon in the foreground.


Our friend gave it to us. I can't believe the difference from our old one. It's incredible. All my windows I have open are not all crammed. I transfer files so much easily. It's awesome!

I also completed a lot of my little projects on my list that I made at the start of my holidays.
I sorted all my yarn:

Looks pretty cool eh?

I moved around my living room furniture. I should have taken a picture of that for you. Tidied up a lot. We got rid of some things that we no longer needed. It feels good to be all uncluttered.

I'm all tuckered out now. So is Napoleon.

We did a lot in this short little time we had off.

I'm off to bed. Good night everyone. I hope you all had an amazing Christmas!

First Off....

Merry Christmas!

This is what it looks like on my way to work lately:

I just like that image and thought I would share it with you all.

I started my holidays yesterday. It was 14h17 to be exact. I should have started them at noon, but I wanted to finish a project. It wouldn't make any sense to me when I returned. I don't have a lot planned for my holidays other than the major trip to my parents for Christmas.

So far though, I've enjoyed some nice wines:

Has some nice shoes on the label. How could I resist?

Today is going to be domestic day. I'm all ready.
I have on my domestic cleaning clothes:


I love this sweat shirt:


I have my giant coffee mug:


My laundry is all sorted:

Just have to wait for the elevator to come off service. I hate lugging laundry down five flights. I always lose something. Usually it's the most embarrassing thing I own.

My iPod is getting charged so I can reload some tunes on it:


Yarn to sort through:

Somewhere in that mess is some yarn for a few baby sweaters.

I have my partners in crime all pumped for action:


I think today will be a good day!

No Knitting :(

I think because my work space at work is not really ergonomically designed, I jacked up my shoulder. This is not a pleasant experience. I didn't even think I sat still long enough for my body to realize we were not supporting a correct posture. Oh well. Lesson learned. Tomorrow, I will carefully set up my desk to avoid this type of discomfort in the future. At the start of the work week, I feel normal. The more correct phrase is I feel very well, no discomfort. As the week progresses, I accumulate more stress and tension and then I notice my shoulder getting very tight. It almost feels like it used to during halftime when I played basketball in school. When Friday blessedly arrives, my shoulder is seized and I have to bribe it to make it through the day. After two weeks, I finally decided, something may not be right. What can I say, I'm a slow learner. At night, in the comfort of my home, watching television, I start to knit on one of the many projects I have on the go. The the shoulder wakes up and shouts stop. Like I said, I'm slow boat at times. So reluctantly, I'm on a knitting-free holiday. I never realized how difficult it was to just sit and watch television. I always have something in my hands to work on while the program plays out. It feels very abnormal. I don't really like this feeling. I have to be careful of the video games I select. I get right into some of them. They are so real it's unbelievable. My shoulders get all tense. I hold my breath. It's probably not very healthy. So, I will give it a rest for a week and see what happens. In the mean time, I'm surfing the net and trying to find some very different baby sweaters for when I'm back in full force. A lot of our associates seem to be expecting. I wonder if it has to the poor Leaf's season us Toronto fans are suffering through.
Enjoy the rest of the week end everyone. Only a few days left to prepare for Christmas Day.

Batty

Is finished.............

Welcome to Canada Eh :)

On my very interesting drive into work this morning, I have to question where their head is located. I live in a wonderful country. We experience two seasons, Winter and Construction. There might be some Autumn in the mix, but sometimes it passes by too quickly. Now that we are in the winter season, perhaps we should all band together and get on the same page. We all have different driving styles, some are professional, some are NASCAR wannabes, some are Sunday drivers, et cetera, et cetera. We should all be driving safely. There should be no argument with this safety. Not only are you driving for yourself and whoever your passengers may be, you should also take into account you are not the only ones on the road. Here are a few of my winter driving tips:

1. Washer fluid. Make sure you have some. Under the hood of your vehicle, there is a container specially designed to house this fluid. It comes in handy when someone passes you and sprays debris and snow onto your vehicle.

2. Wiper blades. Very good to have. Make sure they remove as much water from your windshield as possible. You do not need the extra challenge.

3. Windows. They have a purpose. They are meant to give you a view to the outside world. Before you leave your parking location, clear them. You should be able to see outside of all of them. Don't just use your debit card to clear off a little spy hole. Go big! Clear off the whole thing.

4. Snow removal. Clear all the snow off of your vehicle. Yes, the roof as well. For those of us vertically challenged, you can open your door, step onto the step and reach further along the roof. I do this after I get most of the snow cleared away. It works well for me. I only suggest this if are strong enough to support yourself.

5. Four wheel drive. Not all that great if you don't know how to operate them. There is that old adage, it's not the machine but the operator. Just because you have four wheel drive, it does not mean you can drive as you do during our Autumn or Spring month. I'm not sure about the Summer month. I'm always waiting for the friendly person to switch the sign so I may proceed slowly with caution. Four wheels will lose traction just as efficiently as rear or front wheel drive. You still must drive for the conditions of the road.

6. Reduce your speed. I cannot say this enough. If the old K car in front of you is doing a mere 30km/hr, there is a reason. I cannot tell you how many vehicles flew by me this morning, and then shortly up ahead were shiny side down. I don't know about you kind folks but I would rather arrive in one piece than in a bag on someone's table.

7. Space. I have a huge personal space bubble on a good day. It gets obscenely more in lousy weather conditions. When you think about braking, only a very small portion of your tire is making contact with the pavement (ice). The last thing you want to do is rely on that minute space when you apply your brakes. The more room you have in front of you, the more chances you have to react if you see someone ahead doing something irresponsible. Makes sense does it not?

8. Braking. This is not the only option you have to slow down your vehicle. You have all those other gears at your disposal. If you apply your brakes and they do not react, slip down a gear so your vehicle will start slow to a speed you can control. Neutral is also a good gear to become acquainted with. Do not hit your brakes hard or quickly when you start to slide. You many end up one of those unfortunate shiny side down people. If you refer to point 5, you probably will not have to worry about this point as much.

There are so many other points that I could go into, but these were the main ones I saw on my way into work today. The only thing i really want to stress is to be careful. You may not realize it, but you mean the world to someone. They will be absolutely miserable if you do something stupid that shortens your time here with us.

I've lectured enough for tonight. I'm going to put my soap box and work on my mittens. There is not much left to do with them. I plan to finish them tonight. If I do, I will be sure to post the pictures.
Have a good night everyone. Stay warm and safe.