OMFG!!

It's a helluvalot new going on in my life. My astrological sign is Cancer. We tend to not really like change. I think it ties in to our homebody nature. Anyway, I'm moving over the week end to my new place. It's a bit smaller than what I live in currently, but it will just me and the two fuzzy children, so no worries. I've just finished calling the cable and phone people to set up some for the installation in my new place. The phone one is the easiest. You don't even have to be home. They do it remotely between such and such a time. The cable and internet is another issue. I have to be home on a certain between morning and evening. Helpful isn't that? We actually started moving my gear on Tuesday. All the anxiety of a new home is slowly going away. I can start to visual how I want things placed. I'm trying to scale down and take only what I need and crave. Turns out, that is a bit difficult than I imagined. I also took a big girl step and decided to do something about my credit card. I'm getting a loan with a way lower interest rate and more predictable payments. This helps me out a lot!
They showed our little apartment to a possible tenant last night. This bothered me huge. I hate when strangers invade my personal space. Please refer to the link on Cancer, lol. It felt weird to have someone looking at your stuff and trying to picture their stuff in its place. It brings home the idea of all this change going on.
I'm actually starting to relax a bit with regards to my new home situation. I can visualize what will happen from on. I have lived on my own before. I did quite well. I do know what I'm in for and I look forward to the challenge.
Speaking of new.........

New boots! I had to retire the other ones. The zipper could no longer serve it's purpose. These are quite similar to others with the only difference being they are taller. They are uber comfortable.
I've also been in a weird quieter mood when it comes to music of late. This is my new favourite song:


I think that about covers it. I'm going to head in for a shower and then watch Modern Family. I'll of course be packing up more stuff during the night. I hope the week has been to good to you all. See you later :)

Moving

I'm not really a big fan of packing, although I am good at this task. The apartment looks so weird. All of my life for the past seven years is tucked away in boxes scattered all over the place. I never realized how much liquor we had stocked away.

Sorry for your necks folks. In my hurry to upload the photos, I didn't recognize the photo was on the side until just now.

It's also a very good thing I knit as much as I do. As a result, I have a great source for packing:

It sure beats looking for newspapers. I'm not really one to read the paper anyway. When I get curious about something or need to learn whatever everyone else is discussing, I usually go online. I am very big into instant gratification. Click, click, information.

I have been doing a little knitting. This is my new pattern:

It has the Decepticon symbol from the movie or cartoon, Transformer. I'm quite proud of this little project. As soon as I remove the chart from the 27 pound furry prison, I'll make it available on Ravelry.

I'm quite of proud of myself. You never really know what you are capable of until you are thrust into the midst of it all. Being attached to someone for so long, you lose sight of yourself. I'm very thankful (and yes I know I have already said this) that this divorce is going as well as it is. I've never experienced anything like this before. I have no idea what the rules are. I have no clue what is expected of me. All I really want is for this to be as painless as possible. We do experience our rather tense situations. We lash out in anger and in frustration. I don't like that. I get physically ill from the conflict. We are learning as we go. As long as we don't lose sight of the fact that we do love each other and do not wish any form of harm or discomfort, I'm sure we will fare out alright.

I'm actually at work now. I have nine minutes until I can go home and rest. That word home is funny. It is my home, but it is so different now.
I hope you all have a great evening.

So Much to Say......

.......and not sure how to say it. I've found an apartment. I really like it. It is in the town about 20 minutes from I live at the moment. It's clean, quiet, well taken care of, and they allow pets! I guess the other positive in this is I can afford it. It has been quite an emotional week. I'm not sure how to talk with him. I keep asking if he is ok. Can I do that? Would it be alright if I did this? We are working on a new way to talk each. Let us just suffice it to say, it is a work in progress.
All sorts of things keep circling in my mind. I'm going to have to figure out the oven. It may have other uses besides holding pans and pots. I need larger boxes for my shoes. The ones I have now simply will not do. I knew I had a lot of shoes, but now that I'm going through everything, the number is a bit a overwhelming. I've done a lot of packing. My life is all scattered around the apartment in various boxes. Who knew you could pack up seven years of stuff and memories.
There will be a period of adjustment for both of us. I find I am still saying things like, "we did that...". I've been a part of a couple for so long, I'm not sure how to work the "I" into conversations yet.
During this entire traumatic and bizarre experience, I've noticed that I have a lot of really great friends. I knew they were great before, but this is just so comforting. They don't judge. They just listen and over me reassurances that everything is going to be ok. I am a strong person. I can do anything!
I'm in a much better mental state compared to last week end. I'm very proud of myself. There is a long way to go, but I'm confident that everything will work out in the end. Looks like I am at the start of another adventure.
I hope you all have awesome plans for the week end, even if these plans include laundry and unwinding. I'm going to watch Life On Mars (UK version) and figure out how to pack some more bizarre items I have accumulated over the years. It's a good thing I have such a large stash. Yarn makes for wonderful packing supplies.
Night everyone!

Entering Phase Three

So what do you do when it feels like your entire world has fallen apart. Well, I suppose you cry a bit, actually, a lot. You enter into a shock phase. You wonder what you did wrong. All these possibilities circle in your crowded mind. Maybe, should have, could have; end result didn't. It could have been worse.
I will no longer be some one's wife. It was a hard decision to reach for either side. It could have been worse.
So now we start to plan. We didn't think we would get to this phase. Nevertheless, here we are. I'm in the process of looking for an apartment. He is helping me. I'm very grateful for that. I suppose I couldn't ask for a better divorce. I don't want to be one of those bitter exes. I have no desire to age before my time.
I've actually been writing this over a lengthy period. I'm finding that with each day, I feel a little better. Not much better, but an improvement can be seen. I'm not crying all day, just at certain parts. I'm starting to feel a little strong. I still have knots in my stomach. I'm eating. Not much, but I'm trying. I just don't feel hungry. With my body though, I've always just eaten when I'm hungry. I'm being very watchful though to make sure that I do eat properly. I'm drinking my water. It's a start.
I called my mom. She was surprisingly very helpful. I wasn't sure what she would say exactly. But we chatted for a bit. It did help.
I still feel ashamed. I feel embarrassed that I couldn't do this whole marriage thing. It feels wrong. Very surreal. We will manage. We will continue on. We did have a lot of fun. We did a lot of wonderful things together. We helped each other out. I learned a lot from him and he also from me.
I do have a lot going for me. I do have friends. I have a job. I'm very capable of many things. I am going to be OK! We both will.
Thanks for listening. I hope you all have a good night.

It Was Awesome!

I had a great Christmas with my family. The drive to my parent's house was not the like the third coming of Christmas's past. The traffic was surprisingly light. My parents live just on the other side of Peterborough. To get there, we just follow the lights that can be seen from outer space:


My parents for the most part, are doing very well. Just a little snag. The conversation sort of went like this:
Me- So, what's new?
Stepfather- Not much really. Neighbour has hemorrhoid, the pears we bought at the grocery were bad on the inside, step dad has a pace maker, they built a new Costco on highway 115....
Me- Wait, wait, wait....
Mom- hm?
Me- Back up a scooch,
Mom- I can't believe they would sell bad pears. That is so wrong. There are a lot of people who only have a certain amount of money to spend. They can't waste it on bad pears.....
Me- No. Not that far back.
Stepfather- I haven't been in the new Costco yet. I wonder if it is laid out the same.
Me- Probably. Not what I'm trying to understand though. What about the pace Maker?
Mom- Oh. Didn't we tell you on the phone?
Me- Nope. You mentioned that Len wants to go to Curves but they won't let him because he is a man.
Stepfather- But I think their workout would be better suited for me.
Me- It's a woman's only gym. Women don't want to be gawked at when they are working out. The pace maker?
Stepfather- My heart doesn't beat in rhythm. They are trying to fix it.
Me- Why do you know about the neighbour's hemorrhoids?

We watched a lot of movies on our little vacation. It's kind of weird. When I'm at my parents house, I forget they don't have the same channels as we do. We have the video on demand thing, which I absolutely love. You can pause and watch whenever you want to. You don't have to wait for a certain time. I always forget there is something I'm waiting to watch until it's too late. Then the program is done and I'm behind a few episodes. Anyway, we watched the second Harry Pottery film, The Secret Chamber I believe. I seem to only watch Harry Potter when I'm at my parent's house. We also watched Defiance. For any of you Psych or Sociology majors out there, this film shows great examples of Mob Mentality. We also saw Pineapple Express.

I also did a fair amount of knitting now that my shoulder has finally gotten better.
These are my Skeleton Stockings:

Look! The feet are complete.

I also worked on my wavy scarf:

Can you tell I like that close up feature on the camera?

I started a new project for one of my husband's kickboxing instructors:

Zoe Mellor's Moss Stitch Baby Cardigan. It is not much to look at now, but I have a feeling it will look pretty cool when I'm finished.

I also picked up some yarn to make a toque for Brian. It will have a Transformer theme. You remember that cartoon? The one where the cars are actually robots. They've made a few movies about it as well.

I'm not sure how the design will progress. When I have an image, I will be sure to share it with you all.

Oh! Something really cool to share!
Check the size of this monitor:


Maybe it is easier to see without Napoleon in the foreground.


Our friend gave it to us. I can't believe the difference from our old one. It's incredible. All my windows I have open are not all crammed. I transfer files so much easily. It's awesome!

I also completed a lot of my little projects on my list that I made at the start of my holidays.
I sorted all my yarn:

Looks pretty cool eh?

I moved around my living room furniture. I should have taken a picture of that for you. Tidied up a lot. We got rid of some things that we no longer needed. It feels good to be all uncluttered.

I'm all tuckered out now. So is Napoleon.

We did a lot in this short little time we had off.

I'm off to bed. Good night everyone. I hope you all had an amazing Christmas!

First Off....

Merry Christmas!

This is what it looks like on my way to work lately:

I just like that image and thought I would share it with you all.

I started my holidays yesterday. It was 14h17 to be exact. I should have started them at noon, but I wanted to finish a project. It wouldn't make any sense to me when I returned. I don't have a lot planned for my holidays other than the major trip to my parents for Christmas.

So far though, I've enjoyed some nice wines:

Has some nice shoes on the label. How could I resist?

Today is going to be domestic day. I'm all ready.
I have on my domestic cleaning clothes:


I love this sweat shirt:


I have my giant coffee mug:


My laundry is all sorted:

Just have to wait for the elevator to come off service. I hate lugging laundry down five flights. I always lose something. Usually it's the most embarrassing thing I own.

My iPod is getting charged so I can reload some tunes on it:


Yarn to sort through:

Somewhere in that mess is some yarn for a few baby sweaters.

I have my partners in crime all pumped for action:


I think today will be a good day!

No Knitting :(

I think because my work space at work is not really ergonomically designed, I jacked up my shoulder. This is not a pleasant experience. I didn't even think I sat still long enough for my body to realize we were not supporting a correct posture. Oh well. Lesson learned. Tomorrow, I will carefully set up my desk to avoid this type of discomfort in the future. At the start of the work week, I feel normal. The more correct phrase is I feel very well, no discomfort. As the week progresses, I accumulate more stress and tension and then I notice my shoulder getting very tight. It almost feels like it used to during halftime when I played basketball in school. When Friday blessedly arrives, my shoulder is seized and I have to bribe it to make it through the day. After two weeks, I finally decided, something may not be right. What can I say, I'm a slow learner. At night, in the comfort of my home, watching television, I start to knit on one of the many projects I have on the go. The the shoulder wakes up and shouts stop. Like I said, I'm slow boat at times. So reluctantly, I'm on a knitting-free holiday. I never realized how difficult it was to just sit and watch television. I always have something in my hands to work on while the program plays out. It feels very abnormal. I don't really like this feeling. I have to be careful of the video games I select. I get right into some of them. They are so real it's unbelievable. My shoulders get all tense. I hold my breath. It's probably not very healthy. So, I will give it a rest for a week and see what happens. In the mean time, I'm surfing the net and trying to find some very different baby sweaters for when I'm back in full force. A lot of our associates seem to be expecting. I wonder if it has to the poor Leaf's season us Toronto fans are suffering through.
Enjoy the rest of the week end everyone. Only a few days left to prepare for Christmas Day.