Saturday, January 19, 2008

Just a Few Thoughts.....

Hello everyone. Hope you are all well. I am doing much better now. I have suffered from some withdrawal these past few days. I lost my Internet. Well, I didn't actually misplace it, I just wasn't on friendly terms any more. I couldn't believe how lost I felt. Hubby has found a new p.c. for us. I am really having a great time trying to figure out all the new little gizmos. As I was stumbling around my new toy, I realized how much I really missed it. It was not the actual computer I was missing, but the things it allows me to do.
Today, when hubby came home from work, he noticed how my mood was so drastically different. I was a bit upset because I missed all of my friends. He came to the conclusion (with which I totally agree), that all this chatting on the net has really made me come out of my shell. Before the net, I was very shy. I dreaded going anywhere new. I would have these little breakdowns just as I was leaving home. I would get these second thoughts like: what if they really don't want me there and they just invited me to be polite? what if they really don't like me? All these silly little threads just kept nagging away at my brain. It is positively ridiculous these thought patterns. Of course these people like me. Of course they want me there. If they didn't like me, or didn't invite me, they would never have botherer to talk with me in the first place. In the back of my mind, I knew these questions were completely without merit. I just needed to boost my esteem.
Now, I have very little anxiety leaving my safety bubble. I still get a little hesitant, but nowhere near what I was experiencing prior the acquisition of our net. Now, someone will say: hey! come on over, let's do something fun. I now think alright! Let's do it!
I think the change occurred when I was chatting online with all these different strangers. This didn't even come easily. I only started to talk with them because hubby knows my weakness for card games. He absolutely detests card games. They are the most boring, long, drawn out means of fun he has ever experienced. He only plays with me to make me happy. One day, he found this gaming site for me. He showed me this is where I could play cards with people who actually enjoyed these type of games. What a novel idea. I started playing immediately. Before long, I was chatting up a storm with perfect strangers. What is even better, these strangers became my friends. I love this concept. Here are people who have never seen me or heard my voice, yet they still like me. They like me for who I am, my personality. (Wasn't that a line in Bridgit Jones's diary?) I love it. That is, in my opinion, the true definition of a friend. Here I am four years later, and still talking with these wonderful people.
I had no clue that the Internet would affect me in such a way. Before I would tease all my friends about finding people online. Those people, I would say, are strange, freaky people, living in their parent's basements. Now, here I am. I am one of those strange, freaky people chatting on the net. What an amazing concept.
The sad part of my new PC is that I do not have all my music files and pictures of my family and crafts and other miscellaneous things. I may have to start from scratch to get some of those items returned. It was suggested to me that I get one of those thingies that will extract my information from the old PC and transfer it to the new one. I hope this is possible. I really do not like being without my music. It helps to keep my typing moving along. I guess you can say, I type to a beat.
Has anyone else noticed how touchy people were this week? I think it is the weather change. It was a really mild winter up until the end of this week. All of sudden the true winter made an appearance. I personally have a massive head ache. I can't seem to get rid of the pressure. It is starting to annoy me.
Since, I have to download all of my stuff, I have no pictures to share with you all. I'm sorry for being so long winded, but I was without my fix. I will show you all progress on my knitting as soon as I can.
Have a great night and take care of yourselves.